How To Lower Your Expectations From Life


I have taken this picture while driving through the Highlands last Summer.

Often enough, I would love to kick life in the pants. Not because I am suicidal and want to give up on everything but mainly because life can be so....disappointing. Am I the only one being fooled by perfect movie moments and cannot fully grasp the realities that we have to face? In the end, life is not taking place in 'La La Land' but in your average town with its ups and downs. Let's face it, we won't be the next Hemingways nor will we ever have to write an Oscar speech (thank God, I wouldn't know what to say). Instead, life is really confusing and not plannable. 'Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans' was the favourite quote of one of my classmates back in school. And indeed, John Lennon was right about it. We cannot ever expect something to happen. We cannot buy the furniture to our dream house when we don't own it yet. We cannot wait until someone realizes what brilliant writers we are. 

Often life is teaching us what to really do: Don't expect anything. You see, dreaming is such a beautiful way of wasting time while you could actually step outside and make your dreams reality. You could go down to the kitchen and cook instead of dreaming of being the next chef to appear on 'Chef's Table'. Why not lower your expectations? Why do we have to always dream too big and do nothing to actually reach it? Call me your neighbourhood existentialist but isn't this dreaming a way to ignore the reality that life does not make any sense? Maybe it is then time to snap out of it and realise that life does not make sense at all. By doing that, you may even realise how to add our own sense to life. By doing that life is not about what others want you to believe but it then would be only for you. And reaching that point means happiness to me. 

Yet, there are of course distractions in life we cannot put in our own realities. There are other people who for example treat us horribly. Yes, life is often unfair because of these people but I think it is not wise to be defined by these mistreatments. Less important it is to tell yourself that you will have your revenge, that God is testing you (He might do it but it does not help you with your grief, right?) or whatever. Instead, look at yourself. Don't freeze in your anger. Because no one will ever be fulfilled by revenge, you will be really fulfilled by doing what you always wanted to do. So, see what you can do to make yourself happier. Look what you really need now to be happy again and don't fixate on others. They don't play a role. Their sadness should not be a win. It shouldn't matter to you. Relax. Find out how you can be a fulfilled person. Don't do that by telling yourself 'One day I will be the best Pirate bla,bla,bla'. Instead, think 'what can I do to reach my dreams without making myself unhappy?' Maybe you always wanted to paint, sit down and do it. Don't expect to be better than others. Don't expect it to be a masterpiece. Expect it to be the best you can do. Comparing yourself to others will always make you unhappy. But comparing yourself to yourself is exactly what you want. You cannot draw like Picasso? So what, you can draw like you. You will not receive an Oscar like Emma Stone, so what? Be participated in theatre and act how you would love to see yourself acting. 

There are no limits if you just start to lower your expectations because you are only stopping yourself. 

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